Kate's low fat journal

edney @ 2007-06-14T13:06:00

2007-06-14T03:06:55Z

Exams are over.
One week of working, drinking and sex and the city before going "home"

edney @ 2007-06-11T00:13:00

2007-06-10T14:22:41Z

Wow, hey y'all. Seems that oo, Jesse and Heidi are the only posters nowadays. Though I understand that year 12s have every right to be as VCE obsessed as we were at the same point last year...except me, who was getting smashed while others were doing exams. Sounds like this year. My 19th - Monday night. Got blind drunk (that was a shocker of a hangover), and fucked up. Big time. I can salvage one friendship, not sure about the other. Also fantastic when the boy you secretly love is watching you, and tries to make sure you're ok. And then you realise he was there. So you wake up your best friend, end up in hysterics on her bed and get walked up to your own room. Even better when the saga continues and you get the bloody awkward and worst job of trying to do the decent thing and end the shit.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I think that was supposed to be my last post, and it never got posted. But I still find it a piece of something, and so in it goes!

I should be in bed, particularly as I have to work tomorrow, after going for a run around Lake Burley-Griffin, and then come home at 5, go to the gym, and study torts - in order to salvage the hideous job I did in Foundations, which would have been hideous no matter how hard I'd studied. I just assumed the Act hadn't commenced. Dumbness to the max!

After reading your beautiful posts, hoping Allie's arm stays on, looking forward to seeing Pat's nose ring and wanting info on Heidi's boy, I feel alive. I watched a fireworks display put on from some College mates from B-block, and it didn't all go to plan. Ashley was hit in the stomach! I'm surprised no-one got seriously hurt :P
Jules went back to Alice and came back so incredibly happy. I want that. I don't want ordinary. I want to live my life. I want to feel everything. Nothing in moderation and as many highs as I can get. I want to hold onto my amazing friendships through the lows, and laugh hysterically through the highs. I want to party like nothing else. I want to let the anger go. Katherine told me she was taking a semester off because she realised that life didn't wait until after uni, it was starting now. How true is that? "if I can just get through year 12", "only 4 more years of this degree", "one of these days I'll find a job I like." I'm sick of it. I'm broke and I don't care, I want to have my holidays or I'll be waiting forever. I want friendship, I want to feel and think and do. I want out of the cycle. I don't want to waste my time at my desk, and this semester I haven't done enough study! Life is cruel, but fucking awesome. Why else do we drive cars too fast, set off fireworks illegally, fall for people, drink, take drugs, laugh in the kitchen and hold on to the people who love us?

I am going to bed to start my life.

edney @ 2007-05-16T20:44:00

2007-05-16T10:49:02Z

Not impressed with essay. Should not have left alternative judicial appointment process for better candidates until last minute. Not to mention europe in the modern era. I hate arts students, they're all like "OMG, like, this French grammar is like, hard, and, like, takes up heaps of time" and they're all talking about euro...which we haven;t started because LAW COMES FIRST damnit. Fucking law school fascist AGLC compliant "we're going to take up your whole life so you wish you were arts students too" nazis. Sadly I enjoy it.

Went for a 3km run, twas good. Ate pkt of mint slice today, pkt mint slice yesterday, block of dove chocolate (yes i was sick) mon. Not so good. Lol!

Family coming up for birthday. :D Trying to look forward to work...and then awards night on friday!!! I'm going to write my essay. I love you stax!!

edney @ 2007-05-08T14:28:00

2007-05-08T04:37:16Z

Another Tuesday. I'm procrastinating and waiting for the printer to get unjammed, so I thought I'd post. Because I haven't for awhile.

My life has been quite ordinary...great way to start an impressive post. I haven't been doing my uni work, but somehow managed to come out of my all-nighter last week of term with a couple of HDs, Ds in law and a C for a shonky grammar test done after 3 hours sleep and an early morning torts exam. Uni is the bomb. The last couple of weeks have been uni, work, freaking out about getting my rent paid, bumming around in Amy's room and a hazy Saturday night where too much was revealed and I managed to do what I was proud of never having done. Not only did I make myself sick from alcohol, I managed to do it in my sleep. At 4am I drunkenly had to change my sheets and walk around wondering where my pyjamas had gone (into the washing basket with everything else) Kudos to Ali who was kind enough to bring me vitamin B and tea in the morning despite being hung over.

I miss my Melbourne peeps!!! How are you all?! Please post more often...or find facebook.

edney @ 2007-04-30T12:24:00

2007-04-30T02:32:11Z

...and so LJ appears to be a dying breed of communication...and not in enough time for me to properly use facebook or myspace - I just don't get it.

I went to Marlena's party in the holidays, it was ace. But it did freak me out a little. 1 year ago that was us. I knew we talked about nothing but school, but I had no idea I was so completely consumed by it. It's a scary year and I think it'll be even scarier as I look back on it over time. On top of all the school work I now realise occurred (should have noticed it when I was throwing out those tons of paper after my exams), it really hit home just how unwell I was when I compared symptoms with a friend of mine last night. I never want to go back to that place, it's utter pain and despair.

I want to say hi to y'all! Am so happy to be back in Canberra, even when I force myself to wake up at 6 to go to fitness class after a late night, or find myself discussing the effects of menopause on the waist during my shifts in lingere. I have tofu, sex and the city and good friends, and that's all I need to be a happy little pumpkin.

I'm going to meet Amy for lunch and then head to class, but please drop me a line! I miss you all

BTW; today received tix to see the Dalai Lama, and booked tix to the Whitlams at the Opera House for September (jealous Fi?? Though doubtless you're seeing them in Melb)

Mwah

edney @ 2007-04-06T01:39:00

2007-04-05T15:44:34Z

It's 1:39am, my bus leaves at 10am.
My body has clearly accepted that it is normal routine to sleep from 4am to 7am, then have an hour's nap in the afternoon - why couldn't this have happened while I was doing my assignments/studying for exams when I actually NEEDED to be awake, rather than when i am trying to get back to a normal routine post-assessments?

I will be home tomorrow night, after a 9 hour bus/train trip...yay...kind of. It's going to be a fantastic couple of weeks at home catching up with everyone, but I'm going to miss Canberra. I finally associate it with home, and I have my own family here, and now I'm going back for awhile. Very confusing.

Will now buy last chocolate from "fat box" (the vending machine) before starting normal life again tomorrow.

Can't function. Going to pack. Will see you all in Melb, and hopefully uyou can catch some of my uni friends who are coming down as well.

Back on words

2007-03-12T01:10:26Z

So I made it to Melbourne last weekend...and I'm so glad I did. I know I barely saw anyone, but I was just hanging out at home, and it was soooo nice to have space and quiet and a nice clean couch and sleep. And I came back to good ol' Canberra (Acton rather) with a firm belief that
1. I was here to study, that was my main priority
2. Boys are overrated - get over it and just go with the flow
3. I would be able to say 'no' to going out and having a night in

But all that happened was that I got back, got NO work done and ended up going out Thurs anyway when I said I wouldn't and was starting to get sick. Take yesterday (Sunday) for example:
Having worked Thurs, Fri, Sat in general cosmetics at DJs (biggest pretentious wank of a job ever), I decided that Sunday would be my study day, and that Sat night I would sleep, having had a big night on Thurs, having tutes Fri morning and spending most of Fri night dragging Sam around the kitchen and getting his shoes off and him into bed...then finding out on Sat that despite Amy and my best efforts, he had woken up in his own vomit.

Instead, Sat night I ended up talking to Merryn way too late, got up Sun morning, went for a walk, cleaned my room, pretended to study, ate lunch, pretended to study (now a total of 3 hours for the whole weekend) while watching 10 things I hate about you. Then of course I had to take everyone to get cheap food from the markets, bring it back, then go to Woolies and eat dinner, and by the time that was over I was late for the trivia night at John XXIII college. On the way there having a massive discussion about whether Matt, Sam or Aeros would be the boy to pursue and arriving to realise that the trivia ppl on our table were hard-core and had no interest in our answers. So what do you do? You start drinking. Soon Ali, Amy and I had a tumbler mountain and a system on what drinks we should encourage the thick-as-a-brick Johns barman to create while our table continued to debate which PM had experienced an assasination attempt while giving us dirty looks in between. And of course, once you start it just keeps going...so insterad of getting any work done we were arranging marriages and pre-nups in the hall bar until after 1am.

Guess who woke up this morning ill, with no voice and a date at the Supreme Court with a study buddy for 9:30am...?

edney @ 2007-02-28T14:50:00

2007-02-28T03:52:02Z

Classes cancelled until Monday.
Evacuated again.
70 buildings damaged.
No flights cheap enough to get home.
Maybe catch-up classes in Easter break.
C Block Smells

Hail Damage

2007-02-28T00:36:21Z

Uni is cancelled today. The kitchen is out of bounds for fear of electrocution, therefore I had to make use of the free facon and soy sausages being cooked in the courtyard for our benefit. Last night I made use of the vending machines.

My car has hail damage. I am not happy Jan. You can't get a RWC with hail damage, and although unlike the peeps from NSW I am not obligated to produce a pink slip on re-registration, I am still pissed off, because my car was in fantastic condition, with a cut and polish, all shiny and new and clean and had passed a comprehensive RACV test with flying colours.

Last night I was happy, because thanks to Dan's 21st and $2 spirits at Mooseheads, I was completely off my face (I have no tolerance...) when we were forced to wade back through the 10cm of hail, debris and deep puddles. Sam picked us up at IGA, and the car skidded along the ice while I was dying to go to the toilet. This was made worse by the fact that when we finally saw the turn off for ANU whilst squinting through the haze, we were told by police to find another route (he was NOT helpful..."my best advice would be to go back and find another way in" - thanks Captain Obvious...could you tell us where we can find an unflooded entrance?) and had to circle the uni.

The whole college had been evacuated into central block while our rooms flooded and the roof collapsed in D block (apparently). Living on the fourth floor of C block, I had the pleasure of watching my fellow lower-floor C-blockers go to bed while I lay under emergency blankets with some Germans and a bottle of goon waiting to be allowed back in.

I've heard that 60 ANU buildings are damaged, and I have no idea how I'm going to make up the tutes or the seminar that I'm missing today. So now I'm going to find out what everyone else is doing, because I can't sit around here all day.

I still miss you all, and I'm getting 2nd hand goss - you HAVE to keep me updated! I'll see you all at Easter. Please tell me how law/vet science/music/arts/medecine/psychology/commerce etc. is going, it's your first week this week right? (except for Fi)
xxxxxxxxx

edney @ 2007-02-24T16:15:00

2007-02-24T05:25:55Z

I think I made it thrugh my first week of classes.
From what I'm hearing/reading you're all just going with the flow and getting adjusted to uni life. I have this routine like 'Groundhog Day' where I wake up and think "shit, I'm still in Canberra,I want to be at home. Why didn't I stay in Melbourne? What idiot actually leaves home, where they feel comfortable." And then I get out of bed and shower, go down to the kitchens and talk to my friends and new randoms about stuff that makes you realise how cool these people are. I go to class and think "this uni is awesome" and "I really should have done the set reading instead of playing pool and buying gin and tonics last night" and I get back to my room intending to do homework when someone knocks on my door, or I run into someone and we end up watching movies or eating a massive dinner and if it's Thurs or Fri we end up at ICBM where exists THE ONLY dance floor I've ever seen here.

In short, I haven't done enough work, and I miss home, but most of the time I love being here, and it's starting to feel more and more like home. Today I spent 3 hours at the Fyshwick fresh food markets doing my grocery shopping, and then we went to Woolies (yes - Woolies) and got home and I STILL haven't done any of the stuff I was going to do. Someone has politely shared their cold with all of my friends, and I'm the loser who chose to have class on Friday, when everyone else created their tietables AROUND the massive Thursday nights. David Jones would like me to have an interview about working in Beauty at their Woden store ("sure, you can buy that over-priced lipgloss, I've always thought vaseline does the trick, but whatever floats your boat"). Damn I hate DJs.

Law is the bomb! It is so fascinating, I've definately picked the right degree...but living at the party college definately makes it hard to be serious about work, and I'm supposd to get distinctions...

I miss you all heaps! I can't wait to see everyone at Easter. Good luck to those who have only had O-week thus far, it's time to knuckle down again (unless you're doing arts...because there's really not that much there!) Love!
xoxo

Uni

2007-02-14T17:31:20Z

So it's 4:20am, on Weds or Thurs or something, I thought it was Tuesday, but Alex just pointed out to me that it is now Thursday, thus I went from toga party at 7, to toga after party at Burgmann College at 10, to Sam's room, to Academie foam rave/bar/whatever - but too exclusive to get into any other night, free for toga's and really not worth the hype, then a couple of hours in the kitchen cooking pancakes and talking to drunks. I have a fire drill at 6am and a lecture at noon, so at some point I'm thinking sleeping might be good. And a shower to wash off all that foam.

I just wanted to say hi and that I'm here, and I can't believe o-week is nearly over and yours just about to begin. This has to be one of the craziest but best decisions I have ever made. College life is awesome (except for a drunken mistake on Sunday night...Jesse, I now understand why you stopped drinking, no really, I do), and I have a stack of friends, ranging from the sweetest girl I have ever met in my life, to girls and boys who will jump anything that moves and a myriad of people within the group hooking up randomly for any night. I have partied every night, thhe togas, back to school, drag and diva, with occa night and classy night still to come.

The night life in Canberra is pathetic, but, on the plus side, I can by $3 mixed drinks (sometimes less), and glasses of wine at $1 (awful stuff) with random $1 drink hours, and people are constantly shouting drinks - or we end up doing shots in Rod's room, meaning big nights out for $5-10 where I would easily spend $50 plus a taxi fare in Melbourne. I want to hear about what's been happening, and I'll put my etails on a pivate post - please contact me!!!

Moving Day

2007-02-09T04:22:39Z

Tomorrow morning I'm leaving home. Remember how I said I hadn't packed? Well I'm half way through. I don't know what to leave. How do I get all my pens and pencils and the stationary stuff that I'm so attached to?
This morning after the night before consisting of 5 cocktails and a shot so big that it was no longer a shot but some sort of mini cocktail to skull ("we'll have 4 - no - 5 surprise shots; no milk or tequila please"), I, in all my wisdom of being the day before I move chose to harm myself as I often do. No, I do not hit my head or hold my breath or any other normal self-harming act. All I have to do is reach for the cream biscuits, bread and butter and a bag of strawberry and creams. It works like a charm, and I'm guaranteed of feeling sick within 2 hours. I've been finding myself doing this on too regular a basis, under the guise that once I'm living out of home I won't be able to afford it and won't want to feel sick...but I think I'm just addicted to cream biscuits. Like a druggie always wary of an OD.

French

2007-01-29T12:11:44Z

I love French, however, it was my lowest score (raw...I should hope. Don't you love scaling...it was my highest scaled). I am going to Caberra to do a major in International Relations. This is half the reason I chose ANU. In each year I get 4 subjects. In my first year, 2 of those will be IR subjects. I want to keep French, but doing advanced french (or any french) will require another 2 subjects. That's OK for first year, where the max IR you can take is 2 subjects. But I also want to concentrate on politics. In later years, this may clash with my love of French.

What do I do? I want political internships and everything, but I am sure a language holds you in the best stead for foreign affairs and international relations. I want three majors. Do I stick with French, at least for the first year? Despite its extra time requirements and difficulty??

Help!

BTW, just because I'm vain and own a hairdryer, does anyone *looks at Liz specifically* know if Burton and Garran rooms come with mirrors, as well as hand basins, beds, desks and 'walk-in' robes? I know Bruce advertises it, but I don't think I can live without a mirror (I know, how shallow)

Not long

2007-01-29T08:53:20Z

I am refraining from packing things. This is justified in my mind because I still have somewhere between 11 and 12 days before I actually move, but in reality, I believe it's symptomatic of an inner reluctance to pack up my bedroom and leave my comfort zone.

How do you survive as a student anyway? I'm stuck in this horrible place where my parents can't give me the money to pay for everything, but earn too much for me to get anything from centreink (though believe me, I'm still going to try). And you know what? I just don't care. I'll go and deal as best I can. I'm not worried about debt, I hate debt. More than likely I'll just get really stingy with the money I do have.

Heidi, I need your email, along with Michelle's and possibly Jeni's...

Lots of heart. And Hannah, I'm so sorry for leaving you out, it still kinda surprises me that you're on LJ, simply because you appeared on it to me in a way that made me not realise it was you (sentence the put correctly enough together you for?). Of course congrats are in order, and watch out, as soon as you get some of that independence you might go wild!

edney @ 2007-01-22T20:22:00

2007-01-22T09:40:07Z

Since my last post I have:

1) Worked a lot - yesterday I spent from 12 'til after 2 making roast lunches/sandwiches for upper class tools, then returned home at 7:30pm (after leaving home at 6:50am) to find that my parents had made a VERY well-done roast lamb for tea. I politely refrained fron retching, walked straight back out the door and drove to safeway (but not the one up the road because I'd just stopped there to buy hairspray, mousse and dairy-free chocolate and didn't want to look like a tool - so I drove to the next nearest safeway which is a lot further away)

2) Received many letters and emails from ANU with intros such as "congratulations on your offer", "welcome to the ANU law faculty", "we would like to offer you accomodation at Burton and Garran Hall" and "I would like to invite you to attend an evening gathering..." but NONE regarding enrolment or anything substantial

3) Called Melbourne Uni;
- "Hi, I'd like to speak to someone about not accepting the offer I received to study this year"
* "Which faculty?"
- "law"
* (click...ringing). If you would like to.....press 1. If you would.... press 2......
- (presses 1)
* I'm sorry, I have taken leave and will not be back until....
- (redials)
* welcome to Melbourne University [...I thought it was U of M??]
- hi, I just called about not accepting my offer, but I couldn't get through, someone has taken leave or something. Can I speak to someone about enrolment?
* (click...ringing)
* we can't take your call right now. Please leave your number...

...sometime later

- Hello, Kate speaking
* This is...from Melbourne University, you called earlier?
- Oh, yes, I wanted to let the university know that I wouldn't be accepting their offer this year
* What course?
- Bachelor of arts/law
* Um, I'll just find out how you can do that...I'm not sure
...(much mumbling, hold music)...
* Kate
- yes
* You'll need to send an email, do you know the address
- Is it....?
* No, do you have a pen and paper? It's ....at U.N.I.M.E.L.B....

I still can't believe I rejected it, particulaly with you all enroling today

When Helena and I get our act together we are having a going away something at a bar somewhere (ANYONE HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS)

And Jesse, I will be very free next week, we'll make a date on Thurs when I call you at night

P.S. - This is my room at Burton and Garran, as advertised on the ANU website and seen by yours truly on her visit there in August

edney @ 2007-01-17T22:13:00

2007-01-17T11:13:24Z

In 24 days I am moving to Canberra
This will take some time to feel as though it is reality.

Allie - Congrats!
Heidi = freak (in a good lovable way - maybe then you can figure out the psychological impediments that plague my neurotic cat)
Sabine - aces my dear, you are gonna love Melbourne
Frnak - I know we always knew you'd get in, but my god we're all so proud of you
Patsy - Ke/RMIT is your bitch
Jesse - hearts Melb arts. You belong there and always have!
Fiona - Let me know when your concerts are on; I am still so excited for you that you got accepted into, like, EVERYTHING

Lol, I think that's all. Yell at me if I haven't mentioned you (I know Tom and Kelvin...it's a girl thing - but congrats to the pair of you, and Dixo

Christmas

2006-12-25T11:15:34Z

Merry Christmas all!
I am currently following my trend for the day - to over-indulge. I just ate a LOT of chocolate, despite the fact that I am aware it will probably return to bite me some time in the middle of the night.

So, share your day with me! I am now sharing mine, just, if reading, keep in mind that I have barely spoken to family number 2 for about 3 years now...

After everyone eventually got up, found presents and showered, we got into my Dad's temp car (I think we all know what happened to make it a temp!) but drove home 30 secs later to switch cars owing to the fact that the temp is too small for three well grown and tall children.We made it to family number one's house after fighting, mum pulling over telling dad to shut up or drive himself and an hour or so of bumper to bumper traffic. Arrived at 12:30, by 12:31 had large glass of champagne. Tried to ignore Grandma with her 'how-fantastic-that-none-of-my-grandchildren-have-any-weight-issues' spiel - WTF?! At my open mouth she thought I didn't understand and tried to enlighten me - "none of the children are obese...that means they have good parents." I took another glass of champagne. Received thoughtful presents - bar mixer, ornaments for dorm room and a congratulatory card and candle re results. Took another champagne, washed dishes. Champagne had disappeared. New glass, more champagne.

Got back into the car around 4:45, feeling tipsy and sleepy. Arrived at family number 2's at 6. Said hi to everyone, found large glass of wine before my aunty had time to say, "would you like a glass of wi- oh." Had dinner and another glass of wine and tried to do the friendly thing by starting conversations all over the place. I think I just scared them. Presents passed out. Received pyjamas from awesome aunty, then 2 coles myer vouchers from other aunties plus a second coles myer voucher (worth $10 more) from one of the aunties as a birthday gift - this was wrapped under the tree despite the fact that MY 18th WAS IN MAY and SHE LIVES 10 MINUTES DOWN THE ROAD. Lost wine packing up the table - yelled "where's my wine gone?!" and had my uncle race it back to me (he must have thought I needed it)
By 8 my 14-year-old cousin tried to hold me up-right and convinced me to play detective. This idea died after 6 of my cousins jumped on John, who refused to play. I believe this was simply because after as many if not more beers as I had wine, he couldn't get up. Night ended at 9.
And so this is Christmas.

Hope it was fun dudes!
10 hour shift at double-and-a-half tomorrow. ACES

Alchomohol

2006-11-22T10:38:19Z

This summer I will:
- Drink a lot of cocktails
- Go and spend a few days at various schoolies
- Work a lot
- Shop a lot
- Not go to Sydney
- Find out my score and plan for uni
- Undergo some random tests
- Watch a lot of crap television
- Fill out hours worth of surveys in the hope of making some money/winning something
- Get smashed at Christmas, offer my extebded family heavy spirits and apall them with my parents' lack of parenting
- mmmmmmmmmmm cocktails

edney @ 2006-11-16T20:16:00

2006-11-16T09:16:11Z

Feel sad. Have started work. Wanted to celebrate end of school and Lauren's birthday. Fiona forgot to message me, so missed out on going to do the above. Trying to think positive thoughts.

edney @ 2006-11-13T21:39:00

2006-11-13T10:39:23Z

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In August I pulled vegantart's hair (-5 points). Last Monday I donated bone marrow to plato4socrates in a life-saving procedure (300 points). Last Friday on a flight to Colorado Springs, I stole the emergency flight information card (-40 points). In April I set flancexander's puppy on fire (-66 points). In June I committed genocide... Sorry about that, acommonthread (-5000 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-4811 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal!

Sincerely,
edney

Irritated

2006-11-07T06:59:57Z

I feel really bad, but I have no respect for my parents. Is that my fault? I like them, but I don't really respect them, I mean, of course I respect them, but I don't look up to them like you're supposed to look up to your parents.

I just want them to go back to work and stop hogging the house with their noise and comments and bad clothes. I hate that I look like them, and have their mannerisms. It's awful. I love them, I really do, but even when they're just being themselves I cringe and think 'that's really not socially acceptable' or 'that's something I never want to do.' In my mind I don't let my parents be completely relaxed in their own house. I know its completely awful, but I just wish I wasn't related to them...appreciate them from afar. I would probably be the same no matter who my parents were - I just hate looking at them and thinking 'I do things like that,' 'I look like that.' I should respect my parents, I should look up to them and admire them. They're great, but on days like this I just don't want to have family responsibility to any of 'em.

Soory guys, I know some of you are thinking, 'you've got it great, shut-up.' I know I'm lucky to have parents, who are young, who are still together, who love me, who exist... Actually, you know what? They aren't so awful, just god damn irritating.

So tell me about your parents/guardian people who you resent for passing on their genes. It makes me want to adopt. Agh! They're great, they're not, they're great, they're not. What an odd, odd rant, but so relevant.

Exams - what else does life consist of?

2006-11-04T04:35:24Z

I'm freaking my parents out because I'm actually enjoying studying. No more SACs or running around all day or trying to remember where I'm supposed to be in the 4th 7th of lunchtime today or if there is going to be enough time to study once I get home from meeting/rehearsal/extra class etc. I haven't felt so relaxed for ages.

But why, why, why did I pick such obscure subjects? I'm reading about so many people who have finished or only have their language to go. I'm stuck with several others in the "three left" category. God damn it, and why is international on the same day as French?!

Mmmm, I'm gonna be an alcoholic once exams finish, yay!

:) Good luck dudes and dudettes,we're nearly there, and then we can wait in anticipation and anxiety for those god awful results.

BTW, who has 16 kids?! That woman is like those creatures on South Park that just keep popping 'em out. It's ridiculous

Exam Bloopers

2006-10-30T09:24:28Z

I was updating my glossary when I found these.
http://www.australianpolitics.com/exam/bloopers/

These are apparently questions and answers from exams in England - priceless

- Finally, Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offence.
- It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenburg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of the blood. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the globe with a 100 foot clipper.
- The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
- Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Handel was half German half Italian and Half English. He was very large.
- The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine.
- The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead
sheep and canoeists.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Tess

2006-10-25T11:18:22Z

Hey dudes,

If you don't want to think about English - best not to read on

I don't know who has time to bother with LJ these days, but...
Like the world I'm a bit worried about English, so I was wondering how much people had looked into part 2 Tess and Part 1 Lake, cause I can just see myself having to resort to it! And so far have done zilch.
And - How much Tess stuff do we need on Tess as a story of the destruction of rural England, or Tess's story as the social changes of the times? This is something I feel we haven't really done in class, an I don't want any nasty surprises :P

I know its sad an MacRobbian, but I find part 1 stuff really difficult. What do I need to add to:
Causes of Tess's tragedy (social conventions, men, parents, herself); Extent to which Tess is a victim; Landscape reflecting Tess's emotional state
And Tess's story/landscape reflecting social change/destruction of rural England
How does Landscape reflect societal change?

Ok, thanks, and sorry, I know you were trying to relax. Mwah!
Big hugs, enjoy sleeping in

Charlie (Thanks Trace)

2006-10-24T05:23:38Z

Oh my God Trace, I'm stealing this
Ahaha, want a break from study guys, this is hilarious, kinda try-hard but still awesome. Lol, so bad it hurts your sides